Hello, 

This is my first post at Benaissance Blog Management Matters.  I’ll be the first person to admit I am not Peter F. Drucker or Jack Welch (two people I respect immensely) nor would I ever place myself anywhere near these amazing individuals in terms of their accomplishments and intellect.  Within Management Matters, I have an opportunity to  share some experiences in building and running businesses.  These postings simply document lessons I have learned over the years that have yielded positive results and have made my professional career rewarding.  I hope you will find something of interest in these blog posts.

Chapter 1 - On Giving Advice

“Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill. But what would you? You have not told me all concerning yourself; and how then shall I choose better than you?”  -- J.R.R. Tolkien

When I first read this quote, I was struck by its truth.  In all my interactions with people, I am constantly reminded in the dangers of giving and receiving advice.   

In the past when I was solicited for advice, I first felt honored.  It can be a sincere complement when a person trusts you enough to solicit your opinion on a matter.   I found myself getting personally invested in the advice I was giving.  This lead me to go to extremes in ‘selling’ my advice to the individual in the hopes that they would follow through with my suggestions.  Later on, I would often feel slighted if the individual did not follow my advice as given.  In some cases I would end up quietly blaming the person if my advice faltered in some way.  All of these emotions are unhealthy and a waste of energy. 

I have found the better course instead of advice-giving is to encourage the sharing of personal experiences.  That way the advice-seeker can learn from the advice-giver's experiences (which usually stems from a failure) and then craft a solution tailored to the unique situation.   

I now avoid advice giving with my children.  I want to raise strong, creative and independent thinkers who are at their core are problem solvers.  (Lord knows we have more than a few problems to solve in this world.)  I reason that I can help raise these types of thinkers if I offer my experiences and allow them to come to their own conclusions.  My children are blossoming under this approach as they learn sound decision-making.